December Journal / 2017
secret idea / of yours / that you / could become a better person / if you read the right books // at the ica fred moten speaks of “battling with identity against / the backdrop of the denial of identity” // yes yes yes // I have to fight against my urge to ascetism and self-sacrifice / but I’m reading about simone weil again – she seems like the / most beautiful / she says, “when you decide something always do what will cost / you the most” // I would like there not to be grants / no crowdfunding / no paperwork to prove your need / no application to decide who gets to live // I create the conditions for my heartbreak or a neoliberal self- / help book wants me to think so // the word for spirit / the need to document / as a way of being / “attending to” Marion Bell | austerity